The Cycle Stops Here

It has been two weeks since I discovered some repressed memories from my childhood....today is my "father's" birthday.  Well I hope you have a great day, without me, with the knowledge of what you did, without lying to yourself anymore and embrace your shadow. 

I have anger toward the darkness you let encompass you, but I forgive and love the inner child that was also abused from your family.

Thankfully I have a real Father & Mother that love me in the right way...Father & Mother God

10/23/2014

2 years ago, I was 20 weeks pregnant with you, Otto.  I remember having such anxiety and not wanting to have the exam because I knew you wouldn't be here long, knew they would find something wrong, knew that I would have pictures & a video of you, although I wouldn't have you...How wrong I was, you are here, right before me on the Other Side, I just can't see you.


During the exam I kept referring to "the baby" as him, several times, the ultrasound technician asked if I wanted to know the sex, even though it seems like I already knew.  Which I did...

Love You Mother God, Father God, Holy Spirit

Soul Number 6

Since I was three or four I always knew I was meant to have kids, ached to have kids, loved being around kids but I also knew somehow that was also my challenge.

This soul number in numerology is fulfilled when they have children.  Own their own company with lots of responsibility.  Receiving acknowledgement for all of their hard work with people looking up to them.  When they are appreciated and needed by the people they love in their life.



Love you Mother God, Father God, Holy Spirit

Butterfly Effect

An angel appeared to me, through a beautiful butterfly.  It landed on me twice, then to the plants before me.  Staring at me, willing me to hear its message.

"I'm pregnant, aren't I?"  I questioned.  Already knowing the answer, even though I would only be a couple days along, I knew. 

It stayed for awhile, although it seemed like time stood still, graciously allowing me in its presence.

Receiving this message helped me start to accept my path, accept my grief of having multiple miscarriages and my son's Otto's passing.  It was a warning for me to heal physically and mentally to make room for the new baby growing inside of me. 

Protect me my angels, spirit guides, and surround me with your love.

Mother God Azna I hand this to you.

Love you Mother God, Father God, Holy Spirit